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Post by Matt-man on Feb 4, 2005 16:38:27 GMT -5
This is a game I'm not gonna steal from anyone else.. that I know of anyway. The premise of this thread (not really a game) is to find weird, odd, funny, or whatever kind of news reports or newspaper stories and give the basic outline of what the story is about... then we can all make comments on them and laugh and all that. Hahaha lol. I'll start because this one is quite odd.
Today Dany Heatley (Atlanta Thrashers player) and the judge accepted a plea deal that would keep him out of prison for vehicular homicide of his teammate Dan Snyder in 2003. Among the plea agreements... he has to make 50 speeches a year for 3 years on the dangers of speeding and I think for the same amount of time is not allowed to drive any vehicle that goes over 70 miles per hour. What I want to know is what the hell kind of car is he going to be driving. Seems to me like he's gonna have to drive a Vespa motor scootor or a go-kart or something like that. Hell... the Ford Focus and Toyota Echo probably go at least 80.
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Post by SP_Chloe on Feb 4, 2005 18:45:29 GMT -5
Heeeeyyyyyy a focus is a nice car, it's the echo and chevy aveo u should make fun of!
This one will be easy for me Mon-Fri...because there is a guy on the radio at 12 pm that always makes me laugh with this weird kinda stuff.
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Post by 007Badass on Feb 5, 2005 16:41:33 GMT -5
I heard a story a few years ago about a man who was chillin in the pool of his hotel. He went over to the sucker things in the wall of the pool and decided that it would be a good idea to stick his penis in the little hole and has to have another guest call 911 to get him removed. They had to tear apart the pool. HA HA HA HA HA.
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Post by SP_Chloe on Feb 6, 2005 14:05:51 GMT -5
Wow, that's one smart man.  |
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Post by Matt-man on Mar 28, 2005 11:33:40 GMT -5
I was reading in the Atlanta Journal Constitution (AJC) about the new aquarium that they are going to start building downtown. It's supposed to compete with the Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga. In the description of what you will find there, "100 black pirhannas, 3000 mullets" Wow!! 3000 rednecks there everyday. Do I really wanna go there?  lol |
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Post by SP_Chloe on Mar 28, 2005 15:23:57 GMT -5
 dumbasses
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Post by moran on Mar 30, 2005 17:06:08 GMT -5
HAHAHAHA mullets!!! Yay!!!
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Post by Beth on Apr 3, 2005 18:29:35 GMT -5
hahaha mullets.
What a buncha losers. Their editor needs to be shot!
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Post by Matt-man on Apr 6, 2005 17:59:29 GMT -5
Beth... I'm sure you'll like this one. Today Michael Vick has been sued by a former girlfriend or one night stand for giving her herpes.
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Post by Matt-man on Apr 26, 2005 18:42:17 GMT -5
A Fort Worth, Texas area 911 dispatcher has been reprimanded for using sarcasm when a woman called to ask for help with an out-of-control child, according to the Dallas Morning News.
The dispatcher said, "do you want us to come over and shoot her?" The woman was too stunned to respond at first. She later said she would file a complaint.
The dispatcher repeatedly apologized, saying, "I admit what I did. It was stupid. It was inexcusable, and I'm sorry."
The woman had called to say she could not control her 12 year old daughter who had kicked in a door.
The dispatcher was told he'd be out of a job if he does something similar again.
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Post by Matt-man on Apr 26, 2005 18:45:13 GMT -5
HARRISBURG, Pa. - If you get fat because you're always pigging out at a restaurant or fast-food chain, don't blame the restaurant, some state legislators say.
A consumer shouldn't say "that a Big Mac caused me to become a big Mac," quipped state Rep. Katharine Watson, R-Bucks.
She sits on the state House's State Government Committee, which discussed a bill that would protect farmers, food sellers, processors, distributors, packers, restaurants and even food advertisers from civil lawsuits that arise "out of weight gain, obesity [or] a health condition associated with weight gain or obesity."
The bill doesn't specifically list what health conditions might be barred from lawsuits, but diabetes was mentioned as a likely one.
About 17 other states have enacted measures protecting restaurants and other food purveyors from such civil liability lawsuits.
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Post by Matt-man on Apr 26, 2005 18:46:59 GMT -5
A 77-year-old retired teacher who refuses to stop feeding wild ducks and geese on a private beach in Fox Lake, Ill., faces up to a $500 fine and jail time.
Naomi Mitchell has fed the birds in the suburb far north of Chicago since the 1960s and considers them to be like my kids.
"This lake and these beautiful birds are my whole life," she told the Chicago Tribune.
Mitchell was ordered to stop tossing kernels of corn to the waterfowl after neighbors in a nearby subdivision complained about bird droppings on their private beach.
A village ordinance prohibits feeding migratory birds but Mitchell, whose property runs from her back door to the lake, plans to fight in court Friday.
It's a case of newcomers versus long-time residents and wildlife viewed as a nuisance.
More than 300 homes have been built around the lake since 2000 and the proliferation of subdivisions, golf courses and office complexes created year-round habitats for duck and geese.
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Post by SP_Chloe on May 10, 2005 11:21:48 GMT -5
NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) - A stray dog saved the life of a newborn baby after finding the abandoned infant in a forest and apparently carrying it across a busy road and through some barbed wire to her litter of puppies, witnesses said.
The dog apparently found the baby Friday in a plastic bag in which the infant had been abandoned, said Aggrey Mwalimu, owner of the shed where the animal was guarding its puppies. The seven-pound, four-ounce infant was taken to hospital for treatment on Saturday.
"She is doing well, responding to treatment," Hanna Gakuo, a spokeswoman for Kenyatta National Hospital, told The Associated Press in a telephone interview from the hospital where health workers named the infant Angel.
"She is stable. She is on antibiotics," said Gakuo.
Kenya's news media often report the abandonment of newborns by mothers. Poverty and the inability to care for the child are seen as the root cause of the problem. Most people who abandon babies are never caught.
"Abandoned babies are normally taken to the Kenyatta National Hospital because it is a public hospital," Gakuo said. "People are now donating diapers and baby clothes for this one."
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Post by moran on May 10, 2005 16:41:27 GMT -5
"do you want us to come over and shoot her?" That is hilarious!!!!! |
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Post by Beth on Jun 15, 2005 8:15:04 GMT -5
Michael Jackson is Not Guilty.
I think THAT'S pretty funny.
He's sick in so many other ways, what's one more thing to add to the list?
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